DEMO: Revising bloated e-learning prose

User Rank Daniel Brigham

1,274 posts

Posted Friday, December 07, 2012 at 8:49 AM  

Like you, I spend a lot of my time cleaning up the prose provided by SMEs. In this Storyline presentation, I give a few tips (and a bit of practice) on revising bloated e-learning prose. Hope you find it helpful.

Revising Bloated E-Learning Prose


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User Rank Bruce Graham

7,242 posts

Posted Friday, December 07, 2012 at 9:18 AM  

Brilliant!

That was a GREAT course, beautifully crafted, and useful to anyone who writes eLearning.

 

I was going to say:

After having a look at your eLearning course and doing al the exercises, I would like to tell you that, in my opinion, that was a great, excellent and brilliant course, which was crafted in a really beautiful way. Anybody (ID, use, learner etc.) who creates eLearning, e-Learning, ELearning etc. would, I believe, find this course really quite useful....

 

...but maybe I won't now.

 

Bruce


User Rank Steve Flowers

4,035 posts

Posted Friday, December 07, 2012 at 9:27 AM  

Hey, Daniel - 

 

This is great! A couple of minor points of feedback:

 

1. I'd add in an indicator that signals when a slide ends if it's waiting for the participant to advance it.

2. On the slide where you're having the participant click the hyperlinks for feedback, I managed to get all of the audio to play at once There are a few ways to fix that one. One way is to open a layer and prevent clicking on the base layer until the audio finishes playing.

 

Good work, man. I grabbed my Fifth Edition Lanham off the shelf to flip through and extend the experience. It's a great reference. Others I like include:

 

Sin and Syntax by Constance Hale
How to Write a Sentence by Stanley Fish

 

Constance isn't very complementary of Strunk and White:) I like her style.


User Rank Steve Flowers

4,035 posts

Posted Friday, December 07, 2012 at 9:33 AM  

Or maybe it was Fish that wasn't complementary of Strunk and White. Either way, thought of another one I think is great for prose development:

 

Clear and Simple as the Truth by Thomas and Turner


User Rank Daniel Brigham

1,274 posts

Posted Friday, December 07, 2012 at 9:57 AM  

Glad you both found it interesting. And Steve, thanks for the pointers. Totally appreciated. I'll take a look at revising the variable exercise with layers that prevent clicking until the audio is finished.  --Daniel


Jeanette Brooks

3,630 posts

Posted Friday, December 07, 2012 at 11:34 AM  

Great job Daniel! I love how you share projects like this with the community. It's fun to see cool stuff built with Storyline, and it packs extra punch when it's such useful content. Nicely done!


Sara Reller

60 posts

Posted Friday, December 07, 2012 at 12:43 PM  

This was fantastic. I was able to share it with colleagues and say: hey we have a tool that can do stuff like this so let it inspire you, AND oh by the way learn. Wonderful 2 for 1.


User Rank Daniel Brigham

1,274 posts

Posted Friday, December 07, 2012 at 1:14 PM  

Jeanette Brooks said:

Great job Daniel! I love how you share projects like this with the community. It's fun to see cool stuff built with Storyline, and it packs extra punch when it's such useful content. Nicely done!



Thanks, Jeanette: Your cherry tomato post was the inspiration. It took me awhile to figure it out, but it seems pretty easy once you do. Like most things, I guess.


Kristin Savko

223 posts

Posted Friday, December 07, 2012 at 1:25 PM  

This was fun and informative. 

 

I wish I could have seen my answers I typed in laid next to the correct revision. I'm not sure if I did them right or not. 

 

thanks for sharing!


User Rank Daniel Brigham

1,274 posts

Posted Saturday, December 08, 2012 at 5:04 AM  

Kristin Savko said:

This was fun and informative. 

 

I wish I could have seen my answers I typed in laid next to the correct revision. I'm not sure if I did them right or not. 

 

thanks for sharing!



Kristin: You will be able to see your answers if you type in your revision and then hit the red "submit" button. Glad you found it of some use. --Daniel


Kristin Savko

223 posts

Posted Monday, December 10, 2012 at 6:01 AM  

Well shucks Daniel! I was going too fast and would hit the enter key when I was done typing. Gotta learn to slow down!


User Rank Daniel Brigham

1,274 posts

Posted Monday, December 10, 2012 at 6:10 AM  

That's funny, I'm a fairly quick typist, but get a sort of stage fright when I do screen recordings. Cool shot of you and your boy, by the way. Bet he's going to have PLENTY of photos to remember his youth by. --Daniel


Kristin Savko

223 posts

Posted Monday, December 10, 2012 at 6:23 AM  

Haha, yes! I think when I screen record is about the ONLY time my fingers slow down at the keyboard....or the mouse for that matter...I'm a bit of a crazy clicker.

 

And thanks! This photo is going on about 2 years old at this point, but I've never been able to give it up! He doesn't stay still enough for such a photo now (especially considering I took the photo with a timer).


Kelly Anne

10 posts

Posted Tuesday, December 11, 2012 at 1:00 PM  

Great reminders! No matter how concise I try to be, I always find more to delete when I re-read.


User Rank Daniel Brigham

1,274 posts

Posted Wednesday, December 19, 2012 at 6:09 AM  

Thanks, Annika. Glad you found it of some use. If you're interested, I've got a few more presentations related to writing for e-learning at www.brighamcommunications.com/blog  You might especially like the "tips for writing voiceover narration." Happy holidays. --Daniel

 


David Steffek

80 posts

Posted Wednesday, December 19, 2012 at 12:01 PM  

Excellent work as always, Daniel!

 

And I second what Jeanette said - I think it's awesome that you share these tips with everyone, and it is truly appreciated!

 

(I guess Neil was too busy on his motorcycle to help out Alex & Geddy with their presentation. )


User Rank Daniel Brigham

1,274 posts

Posted Wednesday, December 19, 2012 at 12:30 PM  

Thanks, David. Glad someone commented on the Geddy reference.

 

And yes, last time I saw Neil, he had the

"wind in his hair, shifting and drifting, mechanical music, adrenaline suuuuuuuurrge..."

 

 


Keith Williams

65 posts

Posted Wednesday, December 19, 2012 at 8:38 PM  

Hi Daniel,

What great timing.... I am working with one of our Technical SMEs at the moment, and I have forwarded the link to your DEMO. He has a lot of technical information (that needs simplifying) for inclusion in his PowerPoint presentation, and has almost finished all of the slides (including pictures and arrows etc).

 

He is about to get 'stuck into' creating the accompanying notes for each slide.

 

I have been explaining that it is important to simplify the notes for each slide, and to 'cut out' any unnecessary detail.

 

Your demo could not have been timed more perfectly..... and will be of great support.

 

Once he has completed all of the notes, he will narrate the presentation, then syncronise the slides with the notes in AP '09.

 

Finally I will take all of that and convert it to Storyline to produce the HTML5 and Flash versions (plus mobile version for iPad).

 

Thanks for sharing

 


User Rank Daniel Brigham

1,274 posts

Posted Thursday, December 20, 2012 at 8:45 AM  

Thanks, Keith:

 

It's takes a bit longer to create concise prose, but it saves your learners tons of time, so they can go on and do something more productive, like their jobs.

 

Happy holidays.